Avoiding the Pitfalls in Parenting: Navigating Challenges

I try my best not to be so hard on my daughter. I mean seriously, Parenting is a test to my character at times. I’ve done my best up until this point and I continue to do what I know how to do best… for the last few days, her behavior has truly been irking my nerves! I believe that your children can be the one thing that the enemy can use to throw you off your wagon.

Parenting has never been truly easy for me, but it has been a joy for the most part. I tend to try and focus on all the good benefits of being a parent during times of trials and tribulations, but lately that part has been such a challenge. I believe that the older my child gets, the more complicated it becomes to discipline her because I don\’t really believe in spanking (it hurts me more than it hurts her) and she does not seem to care if I take anything away from her. I\’ve been trying to avoid falling into the same patterns that my mother fell into when it came to discipline, but sometimes I feel myself slipping into that role.

Avoiding Parental Patterns

My mother used to take things from me that truly created my childhood, like Christmas and Birthdays. Like really, who would do that to a child? Honestly, I don\’t want to reward bad behavior, but I don\’t want to scar her for life because she didn\’t get to enjoy the basic amenities of being a child. I really resented my mother for causing me to be the only child that I knew who experienced such harsh discipline growing up.

Often times, adults like to remind their children how lucky they are because they don\’t have to experience what \”we did\” at their age. I honestly don\’t think the kids really care or can even relate to being grateful because they\’ve never known what it was like. Doesn\’t matter how many stories we tell about the \”rough times\” back in our days, telling the story will never have the magnitude of experiencing it first-hand, so the words just become idle words to them.

Punishment Vs Reward System

Lately, I\’ve been challenged with the task of trying to figure out how to punish my child for behavior without causing damage to her long term and I\’m failing at it. I\’ve talked to her over and over and over again about the consequences of her behavior and how that affects not only her but the people around her… but it seems to go in one ear and out of the other.

Today, I found myself fussing at her on the way to school and I hate doing that, but I really feel like she\’s not understanding the importance of what I\’m trying to convey to her. She tends to be sneaky and likes to talk back… I continue to tell her that these things are not okay. We\’ve had conversation about why she\’s doing these things, and she says either \”because I wanted to\” or \”I don\’t know\”. I\’ve tried positive and negative reinforcement, but neither seem to work long term. I\’ve offered reward for doing well and have even taken technology away from her as a punishment, I\’ve even tried spanking her… none of it works long term.

Bible Perspective

The Bible says, \”Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children.
Those who love their children care enough to discipline them,\” – Prov. 13:24 meaning that if we do not discipline and correct bad behavior, we don\’t truly love them. It also tells the child that there is a reward to honoring their parents, “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the LORD your God is giving you.\” –Exodus 20:12. I\’ve gone deep into the word and helped my child to see all of the scriptures aligned with these verses and what God feels about honoring her parents, she says that she understood, but it doesn\’t appear to have resonated.

Matthew 15:4, Matthew 19:19, Mark 10:19, Ephesians 6:2 and many more we searched out and studied together… We also watched a video by Vlad Savchuk about honoring your parents.

I cried my eyes out on the way home from taking her to school because I\’m truly tired of going through the same things over and over with her. This thing called Parenting is a Test that I feel like I\’m failing at times, but…

Enough is Enough! The enemy will not get the best of me. I am going to find a promise and stand on it concerning my child… I\’m going to get in faith about it and let it go. She will grow up and be a successful adult, grateful for all the work that I put in as a parent! I decree that she is going to get through this and will be victorious in her behavior! In Jesus Name!

I will not give up!!!