Overcoming Trauma – Mental Health Matters
Today, I pose a question… If you had a bank account that had gotten extremely negative, almost to the point of no return, would it be wiser to begin disputing some of the transactions that caused this negative or just begin making large deposits?
This question is an analogy of what we experience overcoming PTSD or trauma. Most people have experienced so much trauma in life that they feel that they need some type of therapy to dig through the past in order to peel themselves slowly out of depression. On the other hand, there are people who believe that the power of God\’s Word will be enough of a deposit to recover you from the trauma of the past or the negative account.
Honestly, this has been a question that has been wavering in my mind lately. As a child, I experienced some pretty traumatic things in my life that caused me to shut down and even adapt to selective memory. In my early 20\’s those traumatic times that I experienced began to impact the person that I was not only becoming but who I was being portrayed as amongst others.
Some of the things I went through as a child were suppressed so deeply that they didn\’t seem to surface until I was intoxicated or under the influence of drugs and alcohol. I remember times that I would completely black out drunk and the next day I would wake up and not recall anything from the night before, but there would be a handful of people pretty upset with me about what allegedly had happened or things that I said. This behavior went on for years. I would often times become intoxicated and wake up in jail or even worse the psyche hospital because I tried killing myself.
Lately, I\’ve been thinking about the weight that I\’ve picked up over my years… and I say \”over my years\” because I have literally been overweight my entire life. I find myself going back and forth between contemplating surgery and just losing the weight on my own, but there is a nervousness when I think about either. I have never really agreed with weight loss surgery, but I also feel like I\’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work anymore. At one point, I shed over 100lbs, but honestly, I believe that was because I was eating rabbit food (raw veggies) and drinking an extreme amount of protein shakes on a daily basis. I do not feel like these things are sustainable for me at this point in my life and either that is because I just lack discipline or that lifestyle is not realistic long term.
I am sick and tired of being overweight and feeling like I\’m not making any progress no matter what I do. Part of me knows that this journey is more than just a physical journey… so it\’s more than just diet and exercise, it\’s also about your mental state of being. I\’ve never addressed some of the things that are suppressed inside of me, but that takes me back to my original question. \”If you had a bank account that had gotten extremely negative, almost to the point of no return, would it be wiser to begin disputing some of the transactions that caused this negative or just begin making large deposits?\”
Or in other words… in order to help myself get rid of some of the spiritual baggage that I am holding onto, would it be wiser to see a psychiatrist and start sorting through some of the lost memories or just get closer to God, read His Word and allow the Word to create a new narrative for me that will erase the pain of the past?
Maybe it\’s a matter of doing both and learning to rewrite my life\’s story my way. Either way, I will seek God for clarity and wisdom because I trust that He will lead me in the right direction.
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6
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